mamalogues

snip snip

Last Thursday David had a vasectomy. Haha. You may think I'm cruel for finding a teensy bit of pleasure in his pain and uncomfortable-ness, but I have had three sets of prenatal appointments (including all of those super fun appointments with your legs in stirrups, exposed to the world), three rounds of labor, three epidurals, pushed three babies out of my you-know-what, and all the fun stuff after the birth....three times. So there hasn't been much sympathy from me, and it was his idea anyways.

I offered to take him to his "procedure" but he told me not to worry about and that his friend, Seth, would take him. I got home from work and he was lying on the couch with a bag of frozen peas down his pants (over his undies, I asked.) I asked him out it was and he said, "Oh it was just awesome babe, what do you think?" After he settled down a little bit I asked him to tell me about it.

He said they made him undress, just the bottom half, and lie on the table. Two nurses, he said they were in their 30's and "not ugly", had to prep him--I would have paid money to be there for this part, after all the "woman" appointments and having 10+ people watch you give birth, it would have been hilarious to watch him as these nurses "prepped" him...he said it was so awkward/uncomfortable.

Apparently they use some sort of lidocaine air gun to numb the "area" David said it was like getting snapped with a rubber band. Next they make the incision, dig around for the tubes, cut and cauterize them, he said there aren't any stitches so they used some sort of glue. Walking out was funny to look at I'm sure, I bet everyone knew why he was there :)

The next day I came home for lunch and he had two friends over, watching movies. How cute. There was also a pizza from Abby's, I about died when I saw what his friend Moria wrote on the box :)

So he still is not back at work....and is constantly complaining. I swear men are the biggest babies.

Sorry if that was a little TMI :)

running with scissors

Well not running with scissors...playing with scissors. Mila cut her thumb last week and I forgot to write about it until today.

I was at work and Mila was with my Mom, so she can take the blame for this one :) A package came in the mail and Mila wanted to open it, my mom told her not to and then preceded to go downstairs to our laundry room and fold clothes (so I guess if I stayed up on my laundry this wouldn't have happened). Mila being the good listener that she is decided to try and open the box with some kid scissors, somehow she sliced her thumb open but was too scared to cry out for help so she just stood there as blood gushed out of her owie.

My mom came upstairs to find her holding her thumb and blood running down her arms. After a few band-aids later the bleeding stopped and she went on with her day. After work I came home to find it bleeding again because she didn't want the band-aid on anymore, David fixed her up, and probably thought she need stitches or something...

 

mila the brave.

 My daughter is one tough cookie. Last week while enjoying an otter pop with her cousin, Kamryn, the chair they were sitting on decided to take a tumble down 6 steps off of the deck. Why were they sitting on a chair at the top of six steps you ask? Well, when Scout is on the deck we move a chair in front of the stairs as sort of an "Akrified" baby gate (and by the way Mila put the chair there, not me). Anyways, the adults were all inside and all of a sudden we hear crying, my mom is carrying Mila inside when I notice the scratches on her face, a huge one on her forehead and one on her nose that is barely bleeding. Then I notice a lot of blood running down her back, that's when we found this:

 

Sarah found the wound by lifting her hair up, when she lifted up a particular chunk of hair we realized her scalp came with it. Gross. Sarah almost passed out. We decided she definitely needed to see a doctor so Sarah, Mila, Jonesy, and I went to the walk-in clinic. The receptionists were rude, they didn't even look up or say "We'll be right with you" or anything until they were done with their filing.

Once we got in the room she was fine, no tears, just a sad pathetic look on her little scraped up head :)

When the nurse came in she started grilling me, probably wondering if I did it. Then the doc came in and checked her out, told me she was going to have to get the wound stapled and a shot of novocaine first. Mila didn't cry the entire time we were there, I was impressed to say the least. So after the shot and the six staples it was time to go. Her face was nice and beat up too, my mom kept saying she looked like a "Star Trek" character.

 

The staples

 

And by the way, I'm pretty sure Kamryn just grabbed Mila and used her as a shield on the way down because she only had a few scratches on her.

The video I took.

 

 

steam burn

Last night while making one of my usual gourmet dinners (frozen P.F. Chang's orange chicken and Uncle Ben's instant rice) I got a steam burn. It happened while I was making the rice. I am blaming the burn on David because he bought the wrong kind of rice (it had to be microwaved instead of cooked on the stove) which I have never made before. I put the rice, water, and butter in a glass bowl,covered it with plastic wrap and set the micro for six minutes. After it was done cooking I opened the microwave door and pulled the plastic wrap off of the bowl...BIG mistake! A cloud of super hot steam engulfed my index and middle fingers causing me to scream out obscenities. It actually made me cry, I have not cried over pain since I don't even know when (I had tears running down my face when I got my last epidural but I don't consider that crying, it was just a few tears).

So that happened at six, my fingers did not leave a bowl of ice water until eleven o'clock. I had to sleep with an ice pack sandwiched between my hand and my pillow so that it would press down on the burn. To make matters worse David was at his stupid hunter's safety class so I had to give the kids a one-handed bath, not easy. My fingers are now a little bit numb, swollen, red, and my index finger is starting to blister right below my cuticle. It looks like they are sun burnt. Stupid rice. I couldn't even bring myself to eat any of it because I was so mad at it for burning me. You can now take pity on me.

 

Don't mind the chipped nail polish. You can kind of see the discoloration and swolleness (is that a word?)